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Posts from the ‘fatherhood’ Category

The Gift of Children

As we parent our children, there will be trying times that test our patience and there will be easier times that give us joy and pride. He has given us an awesome responsibility to parent them to be responsible, mature adults. In the midst of difficulties, may we never forget that our children are a gift from God!

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).


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What is That? The Value of a Father’s Love (video)

The Value of Dads

Secrets To Being a Happy, Successful Man


What men experience at a young age has a causal influence on their success and happiness later in life, according to the Grant Study, a longitudinal project that began studying men in 1938. Researchers wanted to know what factors led to an “optimum life”, by asking the same men questions every year about everything from their habits to their health.

What are the predictors of a man having a successful, happy life? Some of the findings:

  1. Warm relationships. Men who were successful and happy had a supportive childhood and warm adult relationships. Men who had a good relationship with at least one sibling made $51,000 more per year than those that had poor relationships with their siblings or no siblings.
  1. Loving Fathers. Men who had loving fathers had a greater capacity to play, had less anxiety and stress in young adulthood, and adjusted easier to retirement.
  1. Positive virtues. Men with an optimum life had warm, social personalities during their college years. Practicality and organization were the strongest predictors of mental health in middle-age.
  1. Strong marriages. Men who were the happiest and most successful stayed married for most of their lives. However, most of the men who were divorced and remarried were still married for an average of 30 years. By the age of 85, 76% of men said they had happy marriages.

What if some of these predictors were absent in a man’s life? George Vaillant, who has directed the study for the past several decades, noted that it was not what happened in childhood itself as much as what men “did with a loving or bleak childhood.” Further, the study revealed that men, regardless of their childhood and young adult lives, could continue to grow and mature throughout their years—especially if they sought and exercised virtuous traits. The message to young men is clear: what you do now impacts the rest of your life.


The full study has been compiled into a book, Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study.


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Helping Fatherless Families

Risks of Father-Absent Homes

How to Dad

Awesome video. Even if it is a commercial for Peanut Butter Cheerios 🙂


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The Importance of Dads

The Value of Dads

The Changing Role of Fathers

The role of fathers is changing in America—mostly for good. According to research conducted by the Pew Research Center, fathers are taking a more active parenting role and they are spending more time with their children.

In a 2012 study, 46 percent of fathers said they spent more time with their children than their own fathers did with them.

Tweet: “46 percent of fathers said they spent more time with their children than their own fathers did with them.” @docshawn


Additionally, fathers in 2011 took more active roles in doing housework and taking care of their children than they did in 1965.


The role of fathers cannot be overstated. As I have written in the past, children that are raised in fatherless homes are much more at risk to drop out of school, be incarcerated, become pregnant, as well as a slew of other behaviors.

Unfortunately, fatherless homes are also on the rise. In 2010, the Pew Research Center revealed that 27 percent of all children live in a fatherless home. That is up from 11 percent in 1960.


We instinctively know the positive influence of fathers on children, yet fathers are increasingly absent from homes. Why is this?

1. Fear of Failure. Some fathers give up and leave the home because their standards are too high. Often, when men lose their jobs or make a fathering mistake (as even the best fathers do), they lose confidence in their ability to be a good dad, and they would rather leave than have their children or wives think less of them. These men need to “suck it up” and keep trying. There is no such thing as a perfect dad!

2. Lack of Encouragement. Sadly, the role of men is often cast in a negative light. The media frequently portrays fathers and husbands as bumbling, dumb or childish (eg: Home Improvement, Married With Children, The Simpson’s). This can increase feelings of inadequacy in men. At the very least, it is difficult to find positive role models in the media to emulate. Men cannot let outside pressures minimize their value. They need to meet with other men that care about their families for mutual encouragement and inspiration. And they need to be willing to take their roles more seriously.

Tweet: “Men cannot let outside pressures minimize their value.” @docshawn

3. Lack of Marriage Training. Through my involvement with the Northwest Marriage Institute, I have come to realize that most fathers desire to be better husbands and fathers. The problem is that many men lack the skills and experience to be an effective father or husband. The Northwest Marriage Institute provides men with tangible training and tools to better enable them to be an effective dad and husband. I am proud to be part of this team. And our services are free! I would encourage all men to look for seminars or workshops that teach marriage and parenting skills. Anyone can become a better husband or father!


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Helping Fatherless Families
The Importance of Dads

The Importance of Dads

Most men enjoy being a dad.  75 percent of dads say that fathering is their most important role, according to a poll by Today. In fact, 51 percent of the dads surveyed said they would quit their jobs and stay home with their kids if they could still make ends meet.

In some ways, dads are reacting to the lack of attention they felt from their fathers. They understand the significance of a male presence in the home and want to make a difference in their children’s lives. As a result, 33 percent of men struggle with balancing work and home life. When men are home, 45 percent of them say they share parenting tasks equally with their wives.

I have written about the negative effects of fatherless families:

Helping Fatherless Families

Risks of Father-Absent Homes

Fathers are critical to the emotional, mental, spiritual, and even physical health of children. Consider the following Scriptures about fathers:

Luke 11:11-12: “You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not!”

Psalm 103:13: “The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.”

1 Thess. 2:11-12: “And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy.”

Click on the video below to see what fathers mean to children.


Fathers, let’s remember how vital our role in the family is, and let’s challenge each other to “man up” as a father!

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